


Dead

by Stillreadingfanfictbh



Series: Larry One Shots [17]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, brought back to life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:28:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29444112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stillreadingfanfictbh/pseuds/Stillreadingfanfictbh
Summary: louis and harry die, but they have a second chance to live
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Larry One Shots [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162739
Kudos: 2





	Dead

louis doesn't know where he is. it's definitely not home. it's not even his world.

he would have thought it was a dream but he pinched himself and slapped himself and even tried to drown himself in the lake in a fit of hysteria only to find himself back on top of the cliff where he started. this isn't a dream, or a nightmare for that matter, this is real. this sucks.

louis woke up with his neck killing him and his heart beating a million miles an hour. once louis chilled out he began walking around, hoping to find someone or something to help him.

but louis has been walking for hours now. in the beginning louis thought this world was pretty. gorgeous orange skies, like the sun is setting but it's been the same color for forever. the water is orange too, like orange soda, but louis tried it and it definitely doesn't taste like orange soda, just shitty lake water. there aren't any trees, but if louis really strains his eyes far ahead of him he see's something resembling them. the sand beneath him is blue. it's very pretty, but louis is sick of seeing it. he wants to go home, a place he knows and is comfortable.

louis also wants to stop walking, give up all together, sit on the ground and die. louis wonders if a wild animal would come around and pick him apart, clean him off of the pretty blue sand. louis isn't sure that there are any animals here though, louis hasn't seen any form of life other than him. usually when there is water there are organisms, but the water doesn't even have algae, much less fish.

so louis keeps walking, thinking about where he may be and how he can get back. thinking about how he got here to begin with. louis doesn't remember much, from what happened before he woke up in the sand. he knows about his life at home, on earth. he was 28 years old, he had a kid, and really big family. he lived in london but his family lived in doncaster. he had a relatively big group of friends and a good job. other than that louis doesn't remember much, was he happy?

louis doesn't know. he also doesn't know when he started to refer to his own life in past tense, like it was a far away time ages ago, when in reality he woke up on the sand only a mere four or five hours ago. he thinks. he isn't sure there is time where he is. there isn't a sun, just an orange sky with nothing in it, no sun means no day and no day probably means no night. what other way is there to tell time? he doesn't have his phone, it must have disappeared when he got here.

louis is walking and thinking and walking and thinking and he's so tired he wonders how his feet are still working. he thinks he hears something but it must be a figment if his imagination, he hasn't seen anything alive since he woke up. he hears it again though, and it sounds like a voice almost. louis looks up, eyes and ears on alert. he really hopes this isn't his mind fucking him over, because his hopes are already raised.

"hello!" it's the voice of a male screaming, the voice echoes and it sounds like it might be far away.

"it's there anyone out here?!" the voice calls again, he sounds helpless, so close to giving up. similar to louis.

louis brain finally catches up with him, and louis yells back, "hello!"

the voice doesn't say anything else, and even though louis thinks it might have been his imagination, he walks to where he thinks the voice came from anyways.

a little while later the voice calls out later, still sounding very desperate, but this tome is sounds much closer. "is someone there?!"

"i'm here!" louis yells back, he looks around him hoping to see someone in the distance, he doesn't see anyone though.

"where are you?!" the voice screams back, actually sounding hopeful too.

louis doesn't quite know how to answer, he's been following a little creek of orange water for a while, but other than that there is nothing around him but blue sand.

"i'm following a creek!" louis yells back, his throat is a little sore from hardly talking for hours on end to only screaming.

"me too!" the man screams in excitement.

louis is so tired but he needs to see this person. even if this man is the ugliest, oldest man in the planet, even if he is the devil himself, louis just needs a companion. someone to go through this with him. so louis picks up the pace and is almost at a jog running and following the creek.

louis almost falls to his knees when he sees someone in the distance. louis can quite see what he looks like, he just looks like a tiny black shadow.

"i see you!" louis yells, grinning from ear to ear. this can't be his imagination, even it wouldn't play such cruel games on him.

the guy lets out a big ol "whoop!" and louis jogs a little big faster, as fast as his tired legs will let him.

it takes a long time for louis to get close, louis must have underestimated how far away this guy is, but louis feels like he's been jogging and walking and stopping for breath then jogging again for hours. louis wonders how the sound of that guys voice travelled so far to begin with. doesn't sound need something to bounce off of in order to make it louder?

finally though, the man becomes more distinguishable, louis sees his long legs and torso he looks lanky from this far away. and louis jogs a little more and the guy must be running too because they become closer. louis can see wavy brown hair and pale white skin.

they both fall to their knees when they see each other. louis lays back on the ground out of breath from running. he hears the breathing of the other man too, he's alive and real just like louis.

"oh my god." the man says, he might be crying, "you're real."

"yeah," louis runs his hands down his face, he would be crying too if he wasn't so fucking tired, "you are too."

"i'm harry," the guy leans up off the ground a little and puts his hand out so that louis can shake it.

louis sits up too, and shakes harry's hand, "louis."

harry is young, not some old man or the devil himself, thankfully he looks really normal. maybe a little younger than louis himself. he's wearing a pair of beat up converse and blue jean shorts that end just above his knees, as well as a loose white t-shirt. harry is much more appropriately dressed than louis for these conditions. louis is wearing black skinny jeans, a long sleeved grey shirt and a flannel. louis has taken off his flannel and wrapped it around his hips and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt when he started running. thankfully though, the temperature here isn't bad.

"do you know where we are?" harry ask, he's running his hands up and down his calf, like he's massaging them.

"no fuckin idea." louis says with a sigh, "i was hoping you would know."

harry shrugs, "i woke here alone in the sand."

"me too."

they both seem sad at that. louis definitely had hopes that this guy would know something about how they got here, why they're here, and how they can get back.

louis lays down in the sand again just as he ask harry, "so what do you remember? from before you woke up."

harry sighs, "well i'm 26, i lived in a shitty apartment in london. i had a cat. one sister and me mum but they lived far away i think."

harry's eyebrows bunch together as if he's trying to remember something, then he becomes sad, "i don't remember much, i don't think i was very happy though."

louis sighs, when he thinks back he doesn't remember much either. louis would know if he were happy back on earth, and if he can't remember that, then maybe he wasn't.

"i don't think i was very happy either." louis says softly, patting harry's thigh.

"what about you then? what do you remember?"

"well i had kid, a little boy named freddie." louis begins, "i had a ton of siblin—"

"louis!!" louis hears someone literally scream his name. it's a girls voice, she sounds really familiar but louis can't quite place it. louis basically trips himself trying to get off of the sand, he's looking around but doesn't see anyone.

harry is up too, he looks shocked and a little scared that he is hearing a random voice screaming.

"who is that? how do they know your name?" harry asks, he sounds out of breath just from standing up, and maybe it's the fear and adrenaline running through him.

"hello? who are you?" louis yells back, he's still looking around, but he doesn't see anything. the strange thing is, the voice sounded very close. too close.

"you know me, lou." the girls voice got softer, she still sounds very close but she isn't yelling anymore.

louis looks up at the sky and see that it's turned at dark purple, and there is one lone star in the sky. louis starts to cry and he doesn't know why, the voice in the sky says, "you would never forget me."

louis cries harder because he knows now who it is, he only whispers, "fizzy?"

"very good." he sister says softly as ever. her voice sounds just as it did two years ago the day she died, "you have the chance to get out of here louis, you don't belong here."

"how? why are you here? how do you know where i am?"

"i always know where you are." she says, louis can almost feel her gently touch his cheek. louis shuts his eyes.

"but you must leave," she continues, "you are getting a second chance, you must take it. follow the water."

"i've been following the water for forever." louis says, "there nothing."

"remember." fizzy says, "don't try to forget what happened. remember why you're here."

"i can't remember." louis wants to cry in frustration, why is she speaking in riddles.

fizzy doesn't answer him after that, and louis falls to the ground crying. follow the water, remember what brought him here. what does any of that have to do with leaving and getting out. why did his sister have to be the one to tell her.

and he really misses his sister. louis suddenly feels more grief than he's ever felt before. when he was on earth, he doesn't know that he ever let himself grieve over the fact his mom and his sister died within two years of each other. and he forgot, when he woke up he didn't even think about the fact they were dead. it only hit him when louis was trying to tell harry about his life and when his sister appeared. he can't believe he forgot about them.

louis feels harry's arms wrap around his shoulders and tugs louis closer to him. louis leans into him and just cries. he's only just met this man and he's crying into his shoulder.

"she's dead." louis says, he's frustrated and sad and he wants to be anywhere but here, "she's dead and she talked to me. how does that happen?"

"i don't know." harry reply's, "i wish i knew something to help us but i don't."

"we have to remember," louis says, he's calmed down a bit but his brain is still trying to comprehend everything, "and follow the water. didn't you come from that way? was there anything down there?"

harry shakes his head, "there were some long rocks sticking out of the ground, that where i woke up, but there wasn't anything special about the rocks."

"maybe we should go back. maybe you missed something." louis says, he stands up and wipes the streaks of tears off his face. he has to figure this out.

harry doesn't look to happy at the prospect of going back, "it will take hours to get there, we've already walked a lot today. maybe we should rest."

the sky did get dark after his sister popped up. maybe they should sleep a little, but louis notices that he's not really that tired. sure he was exhausted and out of breath after running, but he's not anymore. he's not even hungry or thirsty like he should be after walking so much. it must be this place. even if they were thirsty or hungry, they wouldn't have anything to eat or drink other than orange creek water.

—

harry's eyes are ripped open, his heart is beating hard in his chest and he has a sharp pain in his abdomen. he looks around and he's definitely not in his flat in london. the sky is orange and the ground is blue. he's surrounded by long rocks sticking out of the ground.

harry knows right away that this isn't a dream, something about all of this feels real, even if his surroundings look like something from his imagination. the pain in his abdomen has gone away, but harry lifts his shirt and finds a red scar where the pain was. is this a bullet wound? but he's never been shot.

"holy shit i'm dead." harry says to himself, his heart still beating a million miles an hour. something tells him he's right. he must have gotten shot and died. ended up here, but what is this place? purgatory? did harry deserve this?

harry tried his hardest to remember his life before he woke up. he lived in london, he had a cat, his family lived far away from him. he missed them a lot. he had a job? but what job? it must not be important because harry can't remember. he wants to go home, his real him on earth with his family.

"hello!" harry calls out as loud as he can, are there more people here? is he doomed to be alone for eternity?

harry doesn't expect anyone to answer him but someone does. someone else is here, harry isn't alone. harry's hard picks up speed once again, he doesn't take in much of his surroundings before he starts running toward the voice.

it turns out they are both following the little stream of water towards each other, but harry underestimates how far the other guy is, because he ends up walking for hours. he should be tired, dehydrated, weak, but he's none of that. he feels like he can do this for hours more.

harry begins to feel like that guy that calls to him isn't real, or if he is real he must be in another dimension, so close to harry hut too far to reach. someone there to get harry's hopes up only to let him down. they still call to each other though, and when harry spots a body in the distance he almost cries in relief. he is in the dimension. someone else is here. he runs faster.

when they meet each other harry almost can't believe it real, but they hug each other he feels like a real person. the guy is crying, so he has real feelings. his name is louis, he's older than harry by a few years. he has a scar around his neck, from a noose maybe, and harry assumes that is how he died. he doesn't bring it up though, he isn't even sure louis himself knows that it's there. he looks sad and frustrated, harry wonders how long he's been out here. maybe much longer than harry.

louis and harry talk for a bit, then louis lays down and in the blue sand and asks harry, "so what do you remember before you woke up?"

_from before i died _? harry asks in his head, harry wonders if louis thinks he's dead too. harry doesn't want to upset louis or anything so he just tells louis what he does remember from his life.__

__louis begins to tell him about his life too. he had a kid, but harry observed that louis doesn't seem to connected to him. just as louis begins talking about his siblings, it's like a switch is flicked and the sky turns into a deep purple, a voice yells out louis name._ _

__harry's heart picks up speed and louis stands up, looking around for someone but not seeing them. harry stands up too, the voice sounded too close, it sounded like it came from above them._ _

__"who is that? how do they know your name?" harry ask louis, louis doesn't know though._ _

__louis talks to the voice in the sky for a minute, harry is shook the whole time. someone in the sky is talking to louis. someone louis knows. is that person dead too? are they one earth? are they a psychic? harry's mind is spinning._ _

__she tells louis to remember. to follow the water and remember. what does louis have to remember? is it the same for harry? do they have to remember something to go home?_ _

__louis is a mess after she stops answering louis questions. he falls to the ground sobbing, harry tries his best to comfort louis, but they are strangers and he doesn't quite know how to make him feel better. after a minute or so louis calms down._ _

__"she's dead." louis cries into harry's shoulder. so harry was right about her begging dead, he wonders who she was to louis. "she's dead and she talked to me, how does that happen?"_ _

__harry doesn't know, but it only further solidified his assumption that he's dead, that they are both dead. louis starts thinking about where to go from there, but all harry can think is i'm dead, i'm dead, i'm dead and maybe i have a chance to fix this._ _

__louis thinks they should keep following the stream of water back to the rocks. harry thinks that might be right too, but he just came from that way and he is a little annoyed that he has to go all the way back. plus he's confused because shouldn't they rest? his body says it doesn't need rest but his brain is telling him that they should... that's what he would do if he were on earth. but they aren't on earth and he's not tired, so harry follows louis. they walk along the stream in silence._ _

__-_ _

__louis doesn't usually like silence, but he feels like this quiet is necessary so that louis can get him mind in order. harry must feel the same too, because he doesn't say anything either._ _

__louis gets sick of being stuck in his head after almost two more hours of walking. so louis breaks and says sadly, "that was my sister who spoke to me."_ _

__"i was wondering..." harry clears just throat, "i was wondering who that was. you were upset."_ _

__louis knows this conversation is a little depressing, but he continues anyways. louis has no reason to not open up to harry, they seem to be the only ones here anyways. "she was only eighteen when she died, two years after my mom died too."_ _

__harry is frowning when louis looks over at him, "can i ask how they died?"_ _

__louis frowns too, "i don't remember the details right now... i think my mom died from an illness, probably cancer or something? and i don't remember why fizzy died. i remember feeling very angry about it though."_ _

__"i'm sorry." harry says, he reaches over and pats louis shoulder. it's a little awkward but louis is thankful for his attempt nonetheless._ _

__they walk in silence a little more before harry says, "i think we're dead. i'm pretty sure, at least."_ _

__louis has had that feeling too, after talking to fizzy, "yeah. i think so too."_ _

__"i think i was shot."_ _

__this makes louis turn to him in shock because how does he know how he died, "do you remember it?"_ _

__harry shakes his head and lifts up his shirt, it's a little hard for louis to see because of the darker sky, but there is a wound right there on his abdomen. pinkish red like it's just started healing._ _

__"it looks like a bullet wound doesn't it? when i woke up it hurt really bad, but it went away." harry's thumb rubs over his wound before he puts his shirt down._ _

__"i've never seen a bullet wound." louis says, "but i imagine one would look like that."_ _

__harry nods and then it's silent again. louis wonders how he died. harry said he felt pain when he woke up and louis thinks back to how he felt when he woke up. he felt scared, his heart was beating fast and his neck hurt really bad. did someone slice his throat or something?_ _

__"do i have one of those on my neck?" louis asks. he is a little scared to hear the answer._ _

__harry nods._ _

__"can you... um, describe it to me? what does it look like might have caused it." louis asks._ _

__harry is hesitant, he knows what he thinks might have caused it, but he doesn't want to upset louis. louis has a right to know though._ _

__"it's a thin line all the way around your neck," harry says, "it's a little darker than my scar. it almost like a bruise rather than a scar."_ _

__louis is silent. wondering what could cause such a thing, could someone have strangled him?_ _

__"it looks like..." harry hesitates, "rope maybe, maybe you um... tried to hang yourself?"_ _

__louis stops, the scenery around him and harry change. they are in a familiar house. louis hears a voice in the other room of the house, and louis follows it, harry not far behind._ _

__louis see's himself talking in the phone in what must be an office, "i'm sorry, bri, i can't take freddie this weekend."_ _

__louis looks really tired. he's got bags under his eyes and he's pale. he puts his head in his palms and replies to the person on the phone, "i know it's my weekend with him but i can't! i have plans and i'm behind at work."_ _

__there must be someone yelling at louis on the other side of the phone. louis is watching himself and he can't help but acknowledge how weird this situation is. his chest hurts, his heart hurts, watching himself._ _

__the room changes again, this time they must be in louis office. louis is sitting in his chair, his head in his hands; louis knows that he's watching himself crying. at some point louis stands up, he must be angry because he all but pushes the desk over, the chair behind him fall backward and louis is throwing paperwork all over the room. it's dark outside so everyone must be gone, no one is here to see or hear him. louis watches himself mumble things like "i can't even take care of my family anymore," and "i don't like myself like this."_ _

__then they are in a new scene, louis is with freddie in his living room, they are playing with some of freddies toys and louis looks like he's actually enjoying himself. this is what makes ghost louis begin to cry, because he misses his son. he misses his life even if it seems like he didn't want to live it. harry grabs louis hand to comfort him. it works a little bit._ _

__they watch bri pick freddie up, louis gives him a hug and even gives bri a kiss on the cheek even if they've been divorced for years. it's their last hug, louis knows it. he squeezes harry's hand._ _

__the scene changes again and this ones a shocker. louis is standing from a chair, he hung a rope onto his celling fan and he is wrapping it around his neck. harry gasp and closes his eyes as he watches louis push the chair out from under him, but harry can't look away as much as he tries to. he hangs for a minute and louis is obviously struggling, his face is getting red. it goes south then the fan itself literally breaks, and louis is falling to the ground. a few minutes later someone is knocking on louis door and coming into his house. it's the nice lady who lives below him, he must have heard a bang and came up in concern._ _

__louis is crying steadily now, harry is too. he grips onto louis hand tightly and just watches everything unfold. louis knows that he's watching his life, but it doesn't feel like his life. he now understands why he did this to himself, but he wishes he could go back in time and change it. it feels wrong._ _

__the room around them changes again, now they are in a hospital. they see louis laying in a hospital bed, his older sisters, lottie and the twins, are surrounding him and crying on the bed. the doctor is explaining that he is in coma, he still has hope, that it's up to louis now._ _

__louis turns around, it's one thing watching himself emotional, but it hurts more seeing his sisters sad. he did that. his son could live without a father and his sisters might loose another family member. as he turns around he see's a bunch of doctors rolling someone in. louis looks closer and see's curly brown hair and lots of blood._ _

__"oh my god," louis says, he hasn't talked yet since they've been in this alternate reality and his voice sounds weird, fuzzy. he tugs on harry's shirt and forces him to turn around. he points at the doctors rolling the bed down the hall way. "harry, you are on that bed."_ _

__harry's eyes widen and he is suddenly running after it. louis looks back at his family, says a small i'm sorry, and runs to follow harry. they are in a surgery room now, there are surgeons working doing something on his abdomen and they watch as a doctor pulls a bullet out of harry's wound. just then, things take a turn for the worst, the machine begins beeping like crazy, a doctor says, "he's bleeding out."_ _

__harry is watching himself die. it's such an odd experience, he's crying but he's not sure why. he's confused, why did he die? what happened?_ _

__the scene changes to harry in a hospital room now, they must have fixed him up enough to get him out of surgery. harry looks jaundiced yellow and an older women is sitting beside him, holding his hand, probably his mom. the doctor is speaking to her; "he had internal bleeding that we weren't aware of when we took to bullet out; he lost alot of blood, and it's quite a shock on the body to have a bunch of blood in your system that not yours."_ _

__the sight of his mom makes ghost harry cry. he feels louis wrap his arm around harry's shoulder and he leans into it._ _

__"when will he wake up?" she asks._ _

__"it's hard to say... some people it only takes them a day or so to wake up after something like this. others take a little bit longer - a week maybe," he says._ _

__"but he will wake up?"_ _

__they don't get a chance to hear what the doctor says because they are being dragged into a different scene. they are in a dark ally, harry is getting pushed up against a wall by a guy much bigger than him. harry is crying and mumbling "no, no, no" and they guy isn't listening. he's pulling harry's pants down to his thighs._ _

__ghost louis lets go of harry's hand and tries to fight the guy off harry but nothing is working. is hand goes through the man like he really is a ghost. this makes louis cry out in frustration, he can't just watch as harry gets raped right in front of him, but he can't do anything either. louis eventually gives up, harry is frozen, staring at himself getting molested he forces harry's face to turn away from the situation to look at louis instead._ _

__"don't watch," louis says, he is wiping the tears off harry's face even though he has tears of his own streaming down his, "don't watch."_ _

__harry forces his head out of louis hands, "i have to."_ _

__once the guy finishes he pushes harry to the ground and calls him a fag. the man must have had friends around because suddenly three or four other guys are in the ally; they seem to know him and they begin to bug him about fucking a guy and suddenly the guy says, "he came on to me, the slut, deserved it."_ _

__they bug him a little more and suddenly there's a fight, the first guy is saying, "i'm not a fucking fag."_ _

__then, as if to prove that he wasn't, he pulls a gun from out of the inside of his jacket and shots harry in the abdomen. harry, who was whimpering on the ground before that suddenly lets out a deep groan, then passes out._ _

__then, like nothing happened, louis and harry find themselves back at the sandy blue creek. harry and louis are both crying, but harry is sobbing. he falls to the ground and he's holding his abdomen._ _

__"it's like i feel it," harry whimpers, "i feel him all over me. i feel so dirty. everything hurts."_ _

__louis goes to hug harry but harry pushes him away, "don't touch me!"_ _

__louis cries more too, all he can do is watch harry and give him as many encouraging words as he can. it takes a while but eventually harry calms down, and brings it upon himself to hug louis first. he's apologizing but louis assures him that it's okay._ _

__they fall asleep even though its bright as hell out._ _

__when louis wakes up again he feels dead, he doesn't feel rejuvenated at all. harry is still asleep next to him, and louis takes it upon himself to gently move the hair out of his face, and hold him a little bit closer. louis chose to die, louis chose his fate, but harry didn't ask for what happened to him. louis has never had the urge to kill someone, but watching that man do what he did to harry made him actually want to murder._ _

__harry moves a little bit, and it doesn't take long for him to wake up and shuffle into a sitting position, louis following his lead._ _

__"how are you feeling?" louis asks._ _

__harry shrugs, "a little bit better. i don't hurt like i did before."_ _

__louis smiles a little and stands up, then helps harry up._ _

__"so what now?"_ _

__harry shrugs and tries to give louis an assuring smile, "we follow the creek."_ _

__they walk for hours. harry begins to vaguely recognize their surroundings as they get closer to the tall walks. they stop for breaks because although they aren't physically exhausted (something about this place makes it to where they always physically feel fine) they are mentally exhausted. louis and harry talk a lot on their walk, they have nothing better to do._ _

__now that louis remembers what he did he finds himself opening up to harry. he talks to harry about how his life was always scheduled and it felt like everyday, every week, every month, he was doing the same exact things and he got sick of it. he gradually became more unhappy and unmotivated to do things. he fell behind in work, he fell behind socially - stopped hanging around his friends, his family, his kid. he would try to do his work and try to socialize but it would just make him more depressed and he would fall into that loop again and again. eventually he decided that it would be better for everyone if he just gave up._ _

__harry opens up too. he says that he is scared, if they get a chance to go back to earth harry says he doesn't know if he would take it. he explains that even here he feels so disgusting and violated. he feels like someone is always there touching him even though he knows logically no one is. he is afraid that life on earth will be much harder than it ever was before._ _

__louis agrees. he's also scared about going back (if they can). he would have disappointed his whole family. he probably wont be allowed to live alone, no way is he going to go back to his same boring ass job and same boring ass schedule._ _

__"i think i am going to travel." louis says, "i've always wanted to live out of one of those hipster ass vans, just for a bit."_ _

__harry snorts, it's a bit of a change from such a serious topic but he doesn't mind. "i've thought of doing that to."_ _

__"when we get back we can do it together." louis says, almost hopefully._ _

__harry pauses for a second, he grips on louis hand and ask, "you'll want to see me when we're back?"_ _

__louis nods, "i've become so close to you. it's hard for me to imagine going bac to my life without you there next to me."_ _

__harry blushes but says, "i feel the same way."_ _

__eventually they get to the rocks. they are really tall rocks, they look like the size of sky scrapers. they are grey and they have words written on them, but harry and louis are still a little too far to read them._ _

__"those words weren't there before." harry says, "i would have seen it."_ _

__"i wonder why they only showed up now." they are walking faster now, eager to see what the words are._ _

__"we probably had to be together." harry says, "we had to experience the things we did and understand why were here."_ _

__that makes louis think; sure they know how they got here; something tragic happened to them and they are on the brink of death, this is like a second chance. but he doesn't know why he's here. why does he deserve a second chance?_ _

__louis asks this question out loud and it makes harry pause. they stop walking and harry says, "you do deserve a second chance, lou. you said yourself you want to go back, you want to travel, you regret what you did."_ _

__"so many people kill themselves." louis says, "so many people die. why are we getting a chance to change this?"_ _

__"maybe none of this was supposed to happen to us, it's against gods plan or something." harry says, "why are you questioning it?"_ _

__"you believe in god?" louis asks._ _

__harry shrugs, "hard not to believe in something when we are literally in a fucking different reality. when were getting a second chance."_ _

__louis nods, he kind of agrees with the god part, it's hard to not believe in something bigger than himself. but why does it get to decide who gets a chance to live and who doesn't? why is louis getting a chance to live but his sister had to die?_ _

___maybe she didn't want to go back _. louis thinks sadly, they are walking again, almost close enough to the rocks to read the words.__ _ _

____louis does really want to go back and see his family and get his life back on track. he wants to make sure his son grows up with a dad and his siblings don't loose another family member. he misses his dog. he want's to see harry on the other side and form a relationship with him, want's o see him off of the blue sand._ _ _ _

____when they get to the rocks, they see that only two of the rocks actually have words on them. one of them has harry's name on it and the other has louis, but there isn't anything else on it._ _ _ _

____"are we supposed to do something?" louis asks, he lifts his hand up to trace the letters of his name, but the second his skin touches the rock it feels like his skin is shocked, "ow."_ _ _ _

____harry touches the rock too, but he leaves his hand on longer and it begins to glow. his skin glows. "i think were supposed to touch it, to go back."_ _ _ _

____louis runs over to harry and takes his hand off the rock, he is gripping harry's hand and says, "how do you know you'll actually go back? what if you don't and you disappear forever?"_ _ _ _

____harry shrugs, he grips louis hand back and says, "we just have to trust it, louis. we wouldn't have been forced to go through what we have for nothing. your sister said to follow the water and remember and we did that. we can go back, what's holding you back?"_ _ _ _

____louis looks harry in the eyes and says, "i'm scared i'll loose you. i wan't you to e there when i wake up."_ _ _ _

____"you saw me in the same hospital as you, at the same time." harry says, "we will find our way to each other... easy."_ _ _ _

____"what if you don't remember me?" louis asks, he sounds like a little kid when in reality he's older than harry, but harry is the strong one._ _ _ _

____"i will." harry says, he brings louis hand up to his check and pulls louis closer to him, "and if i don't remember i'll always feel this, yeah? and i'll look for you whether i realize it or not."_ _ _ _

____louis leans his forehead on harry's, this whole things has been a shitfest, sue him for clinging to harry for as long as he can._ _ _ _

____louis leans more and kisses harry. they have only been here for a few days, but it feels like they've known each other for forever. louis has defiantly developed feelings for him, and if they don't meet up with each other on the other side louis will be crushed, whether he remembers or not._ _ _ _

____harry kisses him back for a second before pulling away and saying, "the universe wouldn't do this to us, put us together under these unfortunate circumstances, just to fuck us over the very last second. we're meant to be lou."_ _ _ _

____louis nods, he kisses harry one last time and says softly, "okay, i believe you."_ _ _ _

____he separates from harry and talks over to his own rock. him and harry put their hands on the rocks at the same time, and they stare at each other. they watch each others skin glow and suddenly they are poofed out of existence._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____when harry wakes up it's not soft or gentle, he awakes with a jolt, like he just woke up from a nightmare. though his body has jolted and is awake, his eyes aren't quite there yet, they feel heavy as he opens them. his whole body hurts and he kind of want's to go back to sleep, but something in him is telling him to get up and look for something. someone._ _ _ _

____"harry?" a voice besides him asks with a gasps_ _ _ _

____harry recognizes the voice as his sister. he opens his mouth to say hello but nothing comes out. his throat is so dry._ _ _ _

____"oh," she says, she grabs a cup and a straw and hands it to harry, "drink up, i'll get the nurse."_ _ _ _

____the next hour is a nurse asking harry questions about how he feels, he's obviously doped up on some kind of pain meds because he doesn't feel horrible, a little uncomfortable where his wound was, but that's it. he's also slurring his speech and his sister laughs at some of the things he says._ _ _ _

____by the time that's over with, harry can't keep his eyes open for much longer. he's so tired. he'll have to look for whoever he's looking for later._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____when louis wakes up it's because his sister and his ex-wife are arguing in the room._ _ _ _

____"it's your fucking fault he did this!" lottie yells. louis hasn't opend his eyes but he knows her voice._ _ _ _

____"how the hell is it my fault, charlotte?" brianna yells back, "your whole family is filled with mental illnesses!"_ _ _ _

____"you're trying to blame us then?" lottie asks defensively._ _ _ _

____when louis opens his eyes he can't help but be happy that he is looking at his sister, and though he has had issues with his ex-wife he's relatively happy to see her too. the room is too bright though, and it makes louis groan and shuffle around on his bed. there is something in his throat and it hurts and makes him cough._ _ _ _

____"holy shit." lottie says, she seems like she's in shock, just standing there staring at louis as he's obviously uncomfortable._ _ _ _

____bri runs to get a nurse and soon enough they are taking the tube out of louis throat and giving him water. they ask that louis not speak for a few days to give the vocal cords in his neck time to heal. they ask louis a bunch of questions relating to how he feels and he has to give them a thumbs up and a thumbs down. lottie and bri are asking questions too, like how does he feel, why did he try to hang himself, how could you do this, blah, blah, blah. louis falls back to sleep to get away from the questions that he couldn't answer anyway._ _ _ _

____as he falls asleep he can't help but feel like somethings missing._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____apparently harry's injury wasn't that bad, but he ended up getting some sort of infection, making his condition much worse which is why it took a lot longer for him to wake up. the doctors were actually concerned that the infection would get to his brain and he wouldn't wake up._ _ _ _

____for some reason harry doesn't feel surprised that he was on the brink of death. something in him already knew, he shocks the nurse when he asks quietly, "um, did they do, like a rape kit or anything?"_ _ _ _

____she looks up at him in shock, she was changing his bandaging and she asks, "should we have?"_ _ _ _

____harry nods his head, "that's why the guy shot me, he raped me, probably wanted me to keep quiet or something..."_ _ _ _

____harry is blushing, he knows he shouldn't be embarrassed, it wasn't his fault. but he is feeling pretty worthless and disgusting right now._ _ _ _

____"i'm so sorry, it's too late to do a rape kit." she says, "but that needs to be added in the police report, i'll phone the station right now so that they can come and talk to you."_ _ _ _

____harry isn't really up to talking to the police right now, but he nods anyways. minus well get it over with._ _ _ _

____-_ _ _ _

____when louis sleeps he dreams of a guy with brown curly hair and green eyes. sometimes he crying and they're hugging, other times they are laughing and walking along a beach with blue sand. louis would think it's just the pain meds they have him on, but it feels like much more than that._ _ _ _

____it's a few days after he wakes up that they actually allow louis to stand up and walk around a bit. he has some issues with coordination, apparently it has something to do with how his brain swelled from not getting enough blood when he tried to hang himself. so it's taken him a while to get walking down again. when he walks around, a nurse has to be with him to make sure he doesn't fall and to make sure he doesn't make a break for the nearest window to jump out of. as soon as louis is considered well enough he is advised to go to a psychiatric facility, louis hasn't agreed to it yet, but he knows that he should._ _ _ _

____"alright louis, ready for a walk?" his nurse asks, he's an older man and louis likes him well enough. louis family has stopped hanging around the hospital as much, but they still visit at least once a day; they just don't stay long. it's fine though, because at least they don't have to watch louis struggle with things that should be easy, like walking and writing because his right side is weak. his doctor says that with some physical therapy that should become manageable. louis also has spots in his vision randomly, especially why it's bright; the doctor says that it could go away with time or that it may never go away. louis doesn't mind it much, it's not hard to ignore, but it is a constant reminder that louis did this to himself. thankfully louis neck is only bruised, and it will heal eventually._ _ _ _

____louis nods and gives his nurse a bright grin, he's trying to move on, he needs to, something in him is telling him it's going to be worth it._ _ _ _

____louis has to use a cane, which is a little bit embarrassing but if it helps him walk then he deals with it. louis asks to walk somewhere new today, because the last few days they have been just walking up and down the hallways of the psychiatric unit. his nurse agrees and they take the elevator to the floor below them, and walk that hallway instead, his nurse says that this is just the observational unit, where people are basically waiting to leave but legally have to be kept at the hospital for a few days to make sure nothing is wrong._ _ _ _

____something feels off the second he steps foot of the elevator, his finger tips become tingly and something in him almost feels... excited._ _ _ _

____louis walks through the hallways, his nurse walking beside him. most of the windows of the hospital rooms are drawn, but there is one window that doesn't have drawn curtains. as louis approach's the window his heart skips a beat and something just feels right._ _ _ _

____he looks through the window and he see's the boy from his dreams. his nurse is about to pull louis away when the boy looks up at louis too. suddenly, every memory of their time together pops back into louis head; him waking up in the weird in-between, him meeting harry, him talking to his sister, him seeing his own death, then seeing harrys, him kissing harry._ _ _ _

____"louis, is something wrong, do you want to go back to your room?" his nurse ask, laying his hand gently on louis arm._ _ _ _

____louis shakes his head, he didn't realize it but he is crying, he points to harry through the window, "i know him, am i allowed to go in and talk to him?"_ _ _ _

____his nurse looks hesitant, but he must see something in louis eyes. he pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls someone, he looks back at harry through the window, he wonders if harry remembers him. louis thinks he does because he's waving at louis with a big grin on his face. louis smiles and waves back._ _ _ _

____"okay, louis, you are allowed to, but i will wait out here and watch the whole time, okay?" he says, "i jus need to make sure you don't do anything you aren't supposed to."_ _ _ _

____louis nods, he opens the door and walks into; he's crying more. he walks to harry's bedside and gives him a hug, he feels harry crying into his shoulder. making louis feel a little bit better about crying._ _ _ _

____"i didn't remember you." harry says, "i'm sorry i didn't remember."_ _ _ _

____"i didn't either," louis responds, "i knew something was missing but i didn't know what. nothing connected until i saw you."_ _ _ _

____louis squeezed into the bed with harry, and they talk about their conditions, what they will do after they leave the hospital... they talk about as much as they can before louis nurse tells him they have to leave. louis gives harry his number and promises to see him again before he is discharged._ _ _ _

____everything feels like its going to be okay._ _ _ _


End file.
